My Child is Stuck and It Makes Me Mad

My Child is Stuck and It Makes Me Mad was originally written by actonacademy on http://www.actonacademyparents.com/feed/.

It was one of those afternoons. My son was grumpy. He’d have to work all weekend to finish a badge. My thoughts are  once again screaming in my head: The system is too complicated! He shouldn’t have to work so hard to get a badge approved!

I want to intervene. Blame the school, my husband, the guides.

But I resist. I’ve been here before. I know if I tell him there is a problem with the system and this isn’t fair, he’ll tell me to stop intervening.

So I wait.

When the badge is finally submitted and approved, we process it together and I hear the same thing: “That was on me. I didn’t get the work done on time so I complicated things.”  

Feeling the pain of procrastinating or turning in shabby work is part of the etching of character onto one’s heart. It is far from comfortable.

I read the comment on our family survey this week and felt a kinship to this anonymous middle school parent who said:

A frustrating week. Even after days of begging and pleading, our eagle’s former squad leader said there was no requirement for a squad leader to take the time to review and sign off on late badges. The result was our Eagle got no review and no credit for late badge work. Certainly this was a great lesson for our eagle about how success sometimes depending on the cooperation of others. However, I am again asking the question why are studio squad leaders not motivated to help their squad members succeed? In most companies and functional organizations a leader’s success depends on team member success. By not providing squad leader motivators for member success, the academy is failing to teach an important life lesson about leadership.”

As always, we take these comments to guides and Eagles to investigate what is going on and see if we can make improvements.

On this one, a small group of high school Eagles met with middle schoolers to investigate. What they found was written up to us in report:  

“According to all of the Squad Leaders, it is the responsibility of the Eagle to submit their badge on time:

  • It was made clear that it is no longer the Squad Leader’s responsibility after the deadline.
  • According to the Squad Leaders, it was made clear in Town Hall and discussions when the deadline was and what the consequences were of missing the deadline. They said that this is poor time management of the Eagle, and that the Badge System was very clear.
  • It would be a favor for a Squad Leader to review these badges, and according to the Squad Leaders, only a few were approached by Eagles with overdue badges.
  • Based on the comment and the responses by Squad Leaders, this falls on the Eagle. To put it bluntly, an Eagle acted like a victim to their parents, who do not have knowledge of the system. The consensus of those with proper knowledge of the system (the Squad Leaders) was that the Eagle is responsible for poor time management and a lack of effort to approach other Squad Leaders.”

The studio-mates worked it out. Squad leaders generously shared their personal time to help.

And I remembered that much of what frustrates my own Eagles (hence triggering anger in me) is tied to the consequences of work left undone, turned in late, or presented in less than excellent form.

While there may indeed be a problem with a process – and we will work with Eagles to improve those – as a parent, I’m gratified knowing my children are learning this truth deeply: missing deadlines hurts

The post My Child is Stuck and It Makes Me Mad appeared first on On Being an Acton Academy Parent.

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